Truly Madly Deeply

“Love you”, “love you”, “love you” is what I repeatedly told the guy.

I didn’t have to muster the strength or courage or think about it. It came from the deepest part of my being, very sincere and complete with 'just love'. I didn’t know what his answer would be, nor did I care.

When I watched people declaring their love every time on screen I always found it very phony and whenever people I knew or saw followed the same culture I always wondered whether they actually loved each other. According to them love might be just a great feeling but for me love is totally abandoning yourself, being yourself and not having to care as to what the other person might think of you. Love is also the biggest effort we can take on our part for the other person. (yeah jumping hostel walls could be counted!)

And, yes! I did things for him not knowing or caring whether he felt the same way about me. I have been myself and I have listened to him, spoken to him with all my heart. He taught me the purest form of love. No give and take policy. Even though I didn’t know whether he would answer , he did give me one though- eventually. That one word was enough for me to take him in my arms and swear my love again, loudly this time. And he was busy holding my dupattah with one hand and picking his nose with the other and uttering his only limited vocabulary of words with full force,”grrrhhhhh”, and “drrrrhhhhhh”. These two words I will cherish all my life, always. My two month old darling nephew - He taught me a lot these three weeks he was at home.

Every time I saw a kid the first thought that came to my mind was that they were cute. I have found kids in diaper ads cute but I have never “felt” anything before. But this time while changing nappies and diapers (which I have never done for any other kid in my life) I felt good and happy. I could get up at any time of the night and check on him and talk to him (yeah the “grrrhhhhh’s” and “drrhhhh’s”) if he was awake. (He talks to me the most). No problems that he wet my bed. No regrets for losing my sleep, just plain happiness. Every time he cried I found tears in my eyes and anguish- yes i felt very upset. (too emotional eh?) Felt the same when he left today to Vellore. The house feels empty. Almost got up to check on him now when I heard the sound of a baby crying somewhere else.

I have never experienced anything like this and for that I will always be grateful to him. I know that I can never equal or even come close to what his mother does for him but still he will always have a special place in my heart and will be the first guy to whom I declared my love. “Grrrrhhhh”!!!