Rafael Nadal came back after a losing spree, to win the French open and the Wimbledon 2010, I was happy. Could be because, he proved that hard work surely pays off and similarly was happy for Saina Nehwal when she got her World ranking no: 2. Spain won the FIFA world cup, I was happy again.
Michael Jackson died, I was very very sad. Could be because, for a lot of people like me he epitomized English music, or rephrasing it, his was the only western music that I knew about, when I was a teen. I still find myself wishing that if he did have to go, at least he could have had his concert and then maybe… The Bhopal gas tragedy never fails to evoke sadness. My blood boils with anger just seeing terrorists make a mockery of us.
Laughing with the characters in movies or even serials when they are happy and crying with them when they are sad is not new. Not only movies or sports, just about any good thing I see happening to others I feel good and feel sad when I see something bad happening to them.
These people are not me or my family. They don’t belong to my circle of friends. I don’t know these people. Just seen them on TV right? And I am 10001% sure that they don’t even know I exist. Then why??? I was discussing this with my mother and she said simply,” After all we are human beings, so we care for other humans too”. Now that would have been enough to satisfy me had I not extended the discussion.
I asked her, “Then why is it that we feel upset when our neighbour buys the latest TV or car? Why is it that we are angry when the fuse goes off only in our house and satisfied when there is a power cut in the whole area? Why did my favourite cake taste bitter when my colleague gave it as a treat for the promotion and raise that I wanted? I know these people, they know me. We practically see them everyday. So, if your logic is right, as humans, should we not be happy for them when they are and be sad for them when they are?"
Again my mother had a very simple answer. One- “After all we are humans and logic for everything is something that we don't need. Two-I don’t have vetti time (time to waste) like you, so let me work”, and she got busy making my favourite parathas...
Though all of it doesn’t make sense to me still, the only inference I gathered from this discussion is that anything and everything happening in this world either has a very simple explanation or we don't need to explain anything after all. So, from murders, bombings to pollution, corruption you name it and justify it with these words, “After all we are humans." Thereby it becomes our right as humans to be the way we are now, ain't it? And for the vetti time that I was chided for, I have the right, don’t I? After all I am human too (No doubting that, please!!!)
Monday, July 19, 2010
Sunday, July 11, 2010
Truly Madly Deeply
“Love you”, “love you”, “love you” is what I repeatedly told the guy.
I didn’t have to muster the strength or courage or think about it. It came from the deepest part of my being, very sincere and complete with 'just love'. I didn’t know what his answer would be, nor did I care.
When I watched people declaring their love every time on screen I always found it very phony and whenever people I knew or saw followed the same culture I always wondered whether they actually loved each other. According to them love might be just a great feeling but for me love is totally abandoning yourself, being yourself and not having to care as to what the other person might think of you. Love is also the biggest effort we can take on our part for the other person. (yeah jumping hostel walls could be counted!)
And, yes! I did things for him not knowing or caring whether he felt the same way about me. I have been myself and I have listened to him, spoken to him with all my heart. He taught me the purest form of love. No give and take policy. Even though I didn’t know whether he would answer , he did give me one though- eventually. That one word was enough for me to take him in my arms and swear my love again, loudly this time. And he was busy holding my dupattah with one hand and picking his nose with the other and uttering his only limited vocabulary of words with full force,”grrrhhhhh”, and “drrrrhhhhhh”. These two words I will cherish all my life, always. My two month old darling nephew - He taught me a lot these three weeks he was at home.
Every time I saw a kid the first thought that came to my mind was that they were cute. I have found kids in diaper ads cute but I have never “felt” anything before. But this time while changing nappies and diapers (which I have never done for any other kid in my life) I felt good and happy. I could get up at any time of the night and check on him and talk to him (yeah the “grrrhhhhh’s” and “drrhhhh’s”) if he was awake. (He talks to me the most). No problems that he wet my bed. No regrets for losing my sleep, just plain happiness. Every time he cried I found tears in my eyes and anguish- yes i felt very upset. (too emotional eh?) Felt the same when he left today to Vellore. The house feels empty. Almost got up to check on him now when I heard the sound of a baby crying somewhere else.
I have never experienced anything like this and for that I will always be grateful to him. I know that I can never equal or even come close to what his mother does for him but still he will always have a special place in my heart and will be the first guy to whom I declared my love. “Grrrrhhhh”!!!
I didn’t have to muster the strength or courage or think about it. It came from the deepest part of my being, very sincere and complete with 'just love'. I didn’t know what his answer would be, nor did I care.
When I watched people declaring their love every time on screen I always found it very phony and whenever people I knew or saw followed the same culture I always wondered whether they actually loved each other. According to them love might be just a great feeling but for me love is totally abandoning yourself, being yourself and not having to care as to what the other person might think of you. Love is also the biggest effort we can take on our part for the other person. (yeah jumping hostel walls could be counted!)
And, yes! I did things for him not knowing or caring whether he felt the same way about me. I have been myself and I have listened to him, spoken to him with all my heart. He taught me the purest form of love. No give and take policy. Even though I didn’t know whether he would answer , he did give me one though- eventually. That one word was enough for me to take him in my arms and swear my love again, loudly this time. And he was busy holding my dupattah with one hand and picking his nose with the other and uttering his only limited vocabulary of words with full force,”grrrhhhhh”, and “drrrrhhhhhh”. These two words I will cherish all my life, always. My two month old darling nephew - He taught me a lot these three weeks he was at home.
Every time I saw a kid the first thought that came to my mind was that they were cute. I have found kids in diaper ads cute but I have never “felt” anything before. But this time while changing nappies and diapers (which I have never done for any other kid in my life) I felt good and happy. I could get up at any time of the night and check on him and talk to him (yeah the “grrrhhhhh’s” and “drrhhhh’s”) if he was awake. (He talks to me the most). No problems that he wet my bed. No regrets for losing my sleep, just plain happiness. Every time he cried I found tears in my eyes and anguish- yes i felt very upset. (too emotional eh?) Felt the same when he left today to Vellore. The house feels empty. Almost got up to check on him now when I heard the sound of a baby crying somewhere else.
I have never experienced anything like this and for that I will always be grateful to him. I know that I can never equal or even come close to what his mother does for him but still he will always have a special place in my heart and will be the first guy to whom I declared my love. “Grrrrhhhh”!!!
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