Emotional Baggage

It’s been a week since I posted anything. After my secret desire of CSK winning the IPL 2010 coming true yesterday, I wanted to blog about it, but thought it best to leave it to my expert friends Vasant and Rajesh. So now having a lot of different options, I thought of taking a leaf out of my old book. This was something I wrote a few months back (Don’t ask y!). I don’t know how I wrote it. The words just came, and surprisingly I finished it within an hour or so (with a few small changes the next day). I have tried writing something to this effect for a many number of times since then, but couldn’t. And now I have stopped trying after realizing that this was just a rush of words contributing to my feelings. This was more emotion than anything else (like talent?).

When I think about it now, I am able to imagine the same old sari hanging outside Tulsi silks for almost 2 years, a rusty Fiat car standing outside the garage shop, all those cars left in parking lots, even people who are still waiting for prmotions and appraisals, to name a few, crying out for help with these words. So without further ado, after tossing coins and tossing the idea in my head a number of times (believe me you!) whether to share it or not, here it is.

I AM THAT THING ON THE SHELF

I will wait.
I will wait, till someone comes, and hope that someone will like me.
Want me, have a need for me in his life.
Someone I see who will appreciate my beauty and sense of style.
Though I haven’t much I have enough for the right “one”.

People come, see me, like me but want something else.
I am too good for some and some are no good for me.
I am too costly and worthy to the deserving and worthless to the undeserving.

Oh god! Give me a sign - but you give me those.
Show me a path – but you show me many.
Then, what more could I possibly want?
What more could I possibly expect?

Do I want you to guide his hands to me?
Do I expect you to shift those wandering eyes to me?
Do I need you to put that love for me in his heart?

Though I want to say yes, I can’t. Though I want to say “aye” I stop myself.
I have my pride.
Though you made me right you made me wait.
The journey of my life has been slow, tedious and tiring.
What is my achievement?
How many know me?

I have been here from the day of my creation, a layer of dust on me.
People write their name on it, like it, wipe it, and leave me to gather new.
I have been new but now I am old.
I have been in the same place for years.

My master sees me, takes pity on me and lets me be in the same old place.
He has faith in me. Or is it in you? Or is it in the “one”?
I know not.
He carefully takes care of me lest I be hurt.

But one day I will make him proud and be on my way.
Until then I stay here.

Yes, I am that thing on the shelf and I will wait…